Warning - Poo Talk in this edition! ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏
There's just so much great shit out there, we needed a few installments of our Poo Files. So here's #2, from me to you! | | What do you get when a cat eats your morning coffee, poops it out, and some brave soul collects it? A $100 cup of coffee. These Indonesian civet cats eat the ripest coffee cherries, ferment them in their guts, then gift us with a "refined" roast. It's rich, smooth, and smells nothing like you'd expect from something that came out of a cat's butt. | | This one's still rare, but wild wasps in Brazil have been found eating coffee cherries and pooping out the beans—just like civets and elephants. Scientists noticed the beans had a uniquely sweet, mellow flavor, and guess what? They're now experimenting with harvesting this wasp-poo java. So yes, even bugs are getting in on the artisanal coffee game. Buzzed takes on a whole new meaning. | | In the Himalayas, they don't have wood to smoke their cheese—so they use dried yak dung instead. That's right. These hardy mountain folks use flaming poo patties to infuse cheese with a smoky flavor that's literally unforgettable. You'll never look at fondue the same way again. | | In these sustainable farms, fish eat food, poop in the water, and their poop fertilizes plants like lettuce and tomatoes. It's like farm-to-table—but more like fin-to-fertilizer-to-fork. It's clean, green, and totally doo-doo-powered. | | Pandas are adorable bamboo-chomping machines—and they only digest about 20% of what they eat. That means their poop is basically still bamboo, which one Chinese farmer decided to use as fertilizer for a "luxury" green tea. Apparently it's earthy, grassy, and slightly nutty… like the idea itself. | |
Alright, friends. If today's takeaway is "poop makes things fancier," then consider me a tiny, caffeinated sommelier of fecal fine dining. I sampled the cat shit coffee and now I haven't blinked in four days. It tasted like regular coffee but with the haunting knowledge that it was once inside a jungle cat. Nutasha said I smell like a rainforest and existential dread. I told her that's just the aroma profile. Currently she's trying to make a charcuterie board with yak-dung smoked cheese. I pretended to die so I wouldn't have to taste it. She also brought home panda poo tea and tried to serve it with a fish-poo-grown arugula salad. I told her we were two bites away from needing a wellness check. | | P.S. Nutasha wants to open a café called "From the Bottom Up." I'm terrified she's serious. | | Wait… Really? You're already looking for the Unsubscribe. button? Well, just know we have a pigeon army, and they WILL find you. But go ahead… Hit that button and see what happens.
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