Hi ,
When I was four, I was certain a monster lived under my bed.
I couldn't have told you what it looked like or sounded like. I just knew it was there, waiting, and that if I let my leg dangle off the mattress in my sleep, that would be the end of me.
So I stayed still and dead center, tucked completely under the covers, fists held to my chest, all through the night.
Never mind that the space under my bed was so packed with toys that nothing bigger than a sock could have fit under there. Never mind that I retrieved those toys constantly, in broad daylight, without a single monster sighting. Never mind that my mother checked, more than once, and assured me there was nothing there.
None of that mattered. The fear was real, even though the monster wasn't.
I think about that a lot now, because most of us are still four years old in at least one corner of our minds. But we're not afraid of monsters anymore. No, these days we're much more likely to be afraid of risk.
That fear is what keeps us too afraid to start the thing we actually want to build. Afraid of the closeness that might mean getting hurt. Afraid of failing, getting sick, getting older, going broke, losing someone or something special.
These are the monsters that torment most of us today.
And like the monster under my bed, a lot of that fear isn't based on what's actually there. It's based on a perception of what might be there, combined with doubt that we have the capacity to face it.
Here's what I want you to know about fear, though. It's not something to be ashamed of, and it's not something to just muscle past.
Fear is one of the oldest, most reliable systems your body owns. It kept your ancestors from wandering toward danger in the dark. In the right dose, it serves as important protection, not malfunction.
The trouble is when it never gets re-checked. When it takes control. When it just moves in and stays, long after the original reason for it no longer applies.
So here's the real question worth asking. What's the opposite of fear?
Most people say courage. Courage is what you do while you're still afraid. Courage is a response to fear, but not really the opposite. But it plays a role because courage gives you the opposite of fear.
The real opposite of fear is safety. Not the kind someone talks you into. Maybe we can call it “somatic safety.” The kind your body actually gets to feel, directly, often just by finally looking under the bed instead of staying frozen at the edge of it.
Most monsters don't like being confronted. Neither do most of the fears we've been quietly living around for years. When we finally muster the courage to look under that bed and see that there’s nothing there but some imagined worries, worst-case scenarios, and angst about the future, we can finally take a deep breath and experience that somatic safety.
And as I mentioned last week, we’ve just released a series of Holosync-powered soundtracks that will help you dispel fear like nothing else. It’s called The Four Wounds Suite, and it harnesses the power of cutting-edge neuroaudio technologies to heal chronic fear (and shame, anger, and abandonment, too). It’s a sonic self-healing set of tools like no other.
Take a moment to look it over right here.
Don’t let the “monsters” under your bed control you. Take back your life once and for all!
And before I go, I wanted to ask: what kinds of fears have you been burdened with? How have you coped with your fears? Drop me a note and tell me about it!
Until next time, this is me, Just Checking In!
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