Time moves differently in nature.
While we rush, count, scroll, and measure our lives in minutes and milestones, there are beings on this planet who experience time as something slower… deeper… almost sacred.
Animals who do not chase urgency.
Who do not fear stillness.
Who do not measure worth by speed or productivity.
Some of them have lived for over a hundred years.
Some for centuries.
A few for half a millennium.
They have watched generations come and go.
They have survived storms, silence, change, and human history itself.
They carry memory not in words – but in bodies, bones, shells,
and songs.
So for the 100th edition of The Weekly Nut, we're honoring the true elders of the animal kingdom – 8 incredible creatures who remind us that longevity is not about rushing forward, but about staying in relationship with the world around you. This is a celebration of patience.
Of resilience.
Of quiet wisdom. And a gentle reminder that sometimes the most powerful thing you can do is slow down, listen, and live with care. Welcome to the 100th Weekly Nut.
Let's begin. | | Giant tortoises move through the world with an unshakable calm. They do not hurry. They do not panic. They eat, rest, wander, and observe – sometimes for over a century. Some have lived through world wars, technological revolutions, and the rise and fall of entire ecosystems. They remind us that longevity isn't about speed or force. It's about pace, presence, and conserving energy for what truly matters. To watch a giant tortoise is to remember:
You are allowed to move slowly. You are allowed to take your time. | | Greenland sharks may be the longest-living vertebrates on Earth. Some swimming today were born before Shakespeare wrote a word. They live in near-freezing waters, move slowly, and grow at a pace so gradual it's almost imperceptible. Their lives unfold in darkness and quiet, far from noise, spectacle, or urgency. There is something humbling about a creature that has existed for centuries without needing attention.
Their lesson is simple and profound: depth over drama. Silence holds power. | | Bowhead whales are gentle giants with deep emotional lives and strong family bonds. Some have been found with harpoon tips from the 1800s still embedded in their bodies – literal proof that they remember human history in their flesh. They sing complex songs, migrate thousands of miles, and carry ancestral knowledge through generations. These whales don't just survive time – they carry it. They remind us that love, community, and memory are what truly endure. | | The ocean quahog clam holds the current known record for animal longevity: over 500 years. It doesn't travel. It doesn't perform. It doesn't demand space.
It simply exists – filtering water, supporting its ecosystem, and persisting through centuries of change. This humble clam has lived through empires, plagues, revolutions, and industrialization without ever asking for recognition. It's wisdom.
You don't have to be loud to be legendary. | | In many cultures, koi are symbols of luck, endurance, and transformation. Some koi live so long they are passed down through families like living heirlooms. They grow slowly, thrive in calm waters, and are deeply affected by the care they receive. Their beauty is not accidental – it's the result of patience, stewardship, and harmony with their environment. Koi remind us that care given over time becomes legacy. | | Red sea urchins are biologically fascinating: they show almost no signs of aging. They don't weaken, slow down, or deteriorate the way most animals do. They regenerate. They endure. They simply keep going. Scientists study them to understand longevity itself – but their quieter lesson is this: balance sustains life. They exist in rhythm with the ocean, not in opposition to it. | | Living deep below the ocean's surface, rougheye rockfish grow slowly and live extraordinarily long lives. Because of their slow growth, they are vulnerable to overfishing – once removed, generations cannot quickly replace them. Their existence is a reminder that some lives take centuries to fully form, and destruction can happen far faster than restoration. They teach us reverence. And restraint. | | The tuatara is a living fossil, unchanged for millions of years. Native to New Zealand, it even develops a third "eye" on its forehead as a juvenile – used to sense light and regulate biological rhythms. It matures slowly, reproduces infrequently, and lives a long, deliberate life. The tuatara carries prehistory in its bones. Its presence asks us to remember: we are temporary guests on a very old planet. | | Congratulations SpiritHoods on 100 Weekly Nuts. Thank you for spreading animal inspired positive news everywhere!
Now, before anyone asks – yes, we squirrels are aware that we did not make the 100+ year club.
We are not slow.
We are not chill.
We do not "pace ourselves."
We sprint.
We panic professionally.
We make decisions based entirely on vibes and snack availability.
That is why we live short, glorious lives full of movement, passion, and occasionally forgetting where we put things.
Could we learn something from these ancient animal elders?
Absolutely.
Will we?
Let's not ask nature to do something it clearly did not design us for.
And now, in honor of the 100th Weekly Nut, I wanted to let you all know that my fiance Nutasha and I are officially tying the knot.
So yes – this is our wedding announcement, and you are all invited to celebrate with us. We'll be exchanging vows on Valentine's Day (a Saturday) in a lovely Los Angeles park, beneath our favorite oak tree – the very tree where I first caught Nutasha stealing my nuts for her secret stash.
There will be snacks.
There will be chaos.
There will be love.
Thank you for being part of 100 Nuts and counting. We wouldn't want to celebrate this milestone – or this marriage – without you beautiful humans.
Your friend, | | The "short-lived-but passionate" squirrel | | Wait… Really? You're already looking for the Unsubscribe. button? Well, just know we have a pigeon army, and they WILL find you. But go ahead… Hit that button and see what happens.
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