Shop The Clearance Sale ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏
Move over Memorial Day- the real stars of late May are slugs, cranes, otters, flamingos, and parrots. Yes, you read that right. This week is a full-on animal house party and everyone's invited. Let's dive into this wild lineup: | | Yes, it's real. And yes, we're crying from laughter and reverence. The slugs are slow, the journey is mysterious, and we stan the sticky determination.
Fun fact: Slugs have up to 27,000 teeth, four noses, and zero shame. They also play a crucial role in composting and soil
health- basically, they're the unsung heroes of your garden. Honor them by: Taking the scenic route. Wearing something glistening. And never apologizing for needing a nap mid-commute. | | They scream. They soar. They strut. The whooping crane is the Beyoncé of birds- nearly extinct, now gloriously back with better hair and stronger vocals.
Fun fact: Their calls can be heard up to three miles away, and they mate for life like it's a Nicholas Sparks novel. They also bust out elaborate dance moves to flirt- take notes.
Honor them by: Whooping at your enemies. Or neighbors. Or salad. Just… whoop with purpose. |
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They scream. They soar. They strut. The whooping crane is the Beyoncé of birds- nearly extinct, now gloriously back with better hair and stronger vocals.
Fun fact: Their calls can be heard up to three miles away, and they mate for life like it's a Nicholas Sparks novel. They also bust out elaborate dance moves to flirt- take notes.
Honor them by: Whooping at your enemies. Or neighbors. Or salad. Just… whoop with purpose. | | Otters hold hands, juggle rocks, and look like they're always about to star in a feel-good Pixar movie. They're also possibly better at intimacy than your ex.
Fun fact: Otters have the densest fur in the animal kingdom, with up to a million hairs per square inch. They also form "rafts" of up to 100 otters holding hands while they nap.
Honor them by: Floating aimlessly. Cuddling intentionally. Hoarding your favorite trinkets in your armpit (if you must). | | Flamingos are icons. Legs for days. Balance for centuries. And an unapologetically shrimp-based diet. Respect.
Fun fact: Flamingos aren't born pink- they're gray,
and turn fabulous thanks to carotenoids in their food. They also sometimes stand on one leg to conserve body heat, which is both practical and petty. Honor them by: Eating shrimp. Wearing pink. Blocking bad vibes with a single sassy leg stance. | | Parrots are brilliant, long-lived, and absolutely judging you in full technicolor. They know your secrets. And they will repeat them… with flair.
Fun fact: Some parrots live over 60 years, use tools,
and even name their babies with unique sounds. Basically, they're smarter than your group chat. Honor them by: Mimicking someone. Naming a child while making a really weird sound. Screaming into the void- and making it fashion. | | Feed a stray. Donate to a rescue. Or just stop yelling "NOOOO" every time a raccoon opens your trash can. | | Plant something bees can flirt in. Create a toad spa. Let your backyard become a tiny National Geographic special. | | | | Soft. Squeaky. Shaped like the teardrop of an angel. Ducklings deserve their own Oscar category. | | Chickens are smarter than toddlers (seriously). Let's give them the respect they deserve - starting with better names. (Why is every chicken named Henrietta? Including my chicken when I was in 6th grade. ) | | | | Microchipping your pet = the ultimate "Find My iPhone" for furballs. Do it for Fluffy. | | The perfect excuse to throw your dog a birthday party even if it's not their birthday. (They won't know.) | | | | Well that's this Week's Nut you wackadoodle humans. Nutasha and I are closing out the week with a high-drama poultry double feature at our neighborhood cinephile salon: Chicken Run followed by the sequel Chicken Run; Dawn of the Nugget. I know her so well, she's gonna cry during the jailbreak scene. And I'll cry if they serve popcorn nuggets during intermission. It's the simple things in life that make us happy. | | Your "devoted, overbooked animal holiday correspondent" Squirrel | | Wait… Really? You're already looking for the Unsubscribe. button? Well, just know we have a pigeon army, and they WILL find you. But go ahead… Hit that button and see what happens.
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