Dear Friend I've Never Met,
By now, you're wondering if I've got better things to do than to keep emailing you. In reality, I entrust all of the actual work to my staff of anonymous volunteer workers, which allows me to dictate these emails to my unpaid intern while I wait for my wife to make me a sandwich.
I'm sending you another email to remind you of the importance of signing up as a paid subscriber to the Babylon Bee. Along with standing up to the ongoing push for censorship, our team at the Bee takes pride in hilariously predicting the future. Coming up with absurd ideas that later become reality is a difficult job, and our prophetic writers will eventually want to get some type of compensation. |
Becoming a paid Babylon Bee subscriber does come with advantages, including discounts at our online store, access to our headline submission forum, exclusive subscribers-only content, extended versions of our podcasts, and (most importantly) my own appreciation.
Subscribe to the Babylon Bee today and make your life complete. |
Your Favorite Person,
Seth Dillon |
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